Monday, December 1, 2008

Equal parts amused and confused

After a very significant event occured last night, I woke up excited
for a coffee and movie date. Unfortunately, I suppose the day would
have been better spent downloading music in my pajamas at home...

Things went well enough (or so I thought) and then I get a text
message an hour later informing me that despite our "intense sexual
chemistry" it just wasn't "there [for him] to date". WTF? I guess I'm
lucky I got any kind of notice at all, but I'm seriously confused.

What more is there to "dating" besides either having sexual chemistry
or not? Am I missing something? Was I expected to make him fall in
love with me instantly over iced lattes and James Bond? Were we
already expected to have a relationship beyond being flirty and
getting to know each other? What's wrong with just casually hanging
out? We didn't even discuss anything of substance, how does he know me well enough to make that call anyway?

And IF he was feeling this way the whole time, exactly WHAT was the
point of kissing me fiercely at the train station, of asking if I'd be
available for hanging out later? Why not just an awkward hug, a
mumbled goodbye, or at least the classic: "maybe i'll see you around."
good lord, I would have even preferred a nice "it's not you, it's me"
to this mixed-signal-fuckery. Butttttttt, anyway.

I would say that this sucks, but I don't think that's fair of me, for two reasons:
A. Thanks to certain mutual friends, I knew to expect this from him to
begin with.
-and-
B. This is what I wanted, after all, the ups and the downs; the whole
experience. And honestly, I feel a bit rejected, yes, but mostly I'm
just relieved. As in, thank god THAT'S over with. Ok, what's next?

I'm consoling myself with momofuku bakery, t.rex, pommes frites (the
site of the epic porn-for-fries trade), eagles of death metal and
whisky in the EV.

Which, luckily for me, has the highest concentration of beautiful
people of any other neighborhood in manhattan.

The night is cold but also young, and I swear to god I just saw the
hands of the clock move ever so slightly backwards.

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