Just when things weren't sucking..

So as I was trapped on a W train on my way to work this am, I got a
call from my mom's bf, informing me he had taken her to the hospital.

He's old and kind of confused himself, so he couldn't actually give me
ANY information, just that it was something related to either her
pancreas or gallstones. Or something. Maybe.

I've become one of those people who doesn't trust hospitals.

It wasn't the time they put an IV in my arm incorrectly and refused to
take it out until my arm had doubled in size, nor was it the time they
fucked up my surgery leaving me with a painful infection and scar
tissue. It wasn't even the time I was turned away from emergency care
I needed for being unable to pay.

It was when my friend Wally went in feeling unwell only to find out he
had leukemia, and was given a positive diagnosis and high probability
of beating it, and then was dead from a heart attack less than twelve
hours later.

So when I get news like this, even if the outlook is maybe not so
grim, all I can think of is: is this it?