I don't know anything. Not for sure, but I can guess.

I guess that you are keeping your distance on purpose.

Either you didn't mean anything you said, and are staying away for that reason.

Or even worse, you meant everything. And you can't stand to see me because you know the damage you've done to someone you love.

A friend told me a story once, about a girl he worked with but didn't like. She had given notice, and on her last shift she casually leaned over and whispered to him: I hope I never see you again.

Someday I might see you around, and I might sidle up to whisper: You were never my friend.

"if you can read this, it's because my fucking sweater fell off."

Ok, first of all, I feel like I've already written about this for like
5 posts too many. Oh well.

Pretty much the exact same thing happened to A on Monday, except she
received a verbose and slightly dramatic email in place of a text.
Same sentiment, though.

So after commiserating in typical BFF style (what the fuck, how lame,
what a loser, omg) and a giggly conversation reimagining our
respective responses to both boys, we came to the conclusion they
actually kind of did us a favor.

We also both decided that the concept of internet dating, by it's very
nature, caters to introverted people with no social skills.

She's going to join me on my quest for good Thai, and until we meet
someone worthwhile in this city, we'll always have each other-- and
late nights spent laughing at CL casual encounters posts.

...WHAT?!

Equal parts amused and confused

After a very significant event occured last night, I woke up excited
for a coffee and movie date. Unfortunately, I suppose the day would
have been better spent downloading music in my pajamas at home...

Things went well enough (or so I thought) and then I get a text
message an hour later informing me that despite our "intense sexual
chemistry" it just wasn't "there [for him] to date". WTF? I guess I'm
lucky I got any kind of notice at all, but I'm seriously confused.

What more is there to "dating" besides either having sexual chemistry
or not? Am I missing something? Was I expected to make him fall in
love with me instantly over iced lattes and James Bond? Were we
already expected to have a relationship beyond being flirty and
getting to know each other? What's wrong with just casually hanging
out? We didn't even discuss anything of substance, how does he know me well enough to make that call anyway?

And IF he was feeling this way the whole time, exactly WHAT was the
point of kissing me fiercely at the train station, of asking if I'd be
available for hanging out later? Why not just an awkward hug, a
mumbled goodbye, or at least the classic: "maybe i'll see you around."
good lord, I would have even preferred a nice "it's not you, it's me"
to this mixed-signal-fuckery. Butttttttt, anyway.

I would say that this sucks, but I don't think that's fair of me, for two reasons:
A. Thanks to certain mutual friends, I knew to expect this from him to
begin with.
-and-
B. This is what I wanted, after all, the ups and the downs; the whole
experience. And honestly, I feel a bit rejected, yes, but mostly I'm
just relieved. As in, thank god THAT'S over with. Ok, what's next?

I'm consoling myself with momofuku bakery, t.rex, pommes frites (the
site of the epic porn-for-fries trade), eagles of death metal and
whisky in the EV.

Which, luckily for me, has the highest concentration of beautiful
people of any other neighborhood in manhattan.

The night is cold but also young, and I swear to god I just saw the
hands of the clock move ever so slightly backwards.