Sunday, November 30, 2008

"I was a nerd... A party nerd."

At 7b last night, when S gave me this look out of the corner of his
eye, all at once it all made sense. He looks like F, he talks like F,
he moves like F, he likes the same music and has the same hobbies.
Which was a strange realization, because if I'm really over it (I am)
and if it wasn't that great to begin with (it wasn't), then why I am I
still looking for him, even in the most subconcious way?
Ah, whatever. Figuring this out made me get over it, which is probably
the best idea I've had yet.

In my wandering last night, I ended up in a place I shouldn't have
been, a place I definitely shouldn't have been alone in the dark. I
handled it ok, though, all by myself, and felt good about it later. A
lot of things that used to make me tremble now just make me sick,
funny how that works. I'm sure that one day, instead of making me
sick, they will just make me laugh. That day will be awesome.

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