listen, I've been drinking... as our house lies in ruin. I don't know what I'm doin'. Alone, in the dark. At the park or at the pier, watching ships..

...disappear in the rain. ?

The 12 year-old me would be judging the 29 year-old me endlessly. I definitely never designed this life for myself. I was smart; I was gifted. I was destined to discover a cure for cancer AND open a top 3 Hollywood film. I was going to give a million dollars to my public high school english teacher; and a million dollars to my private high school. I was going to be married with three children by the age I am now.

But when I lay it all out, in memory, and really consider it all?

All I can say is that it was really fun. If I died tonight, I would have regrets, sure. But mostly I would have love and gratitude for the people who have come in and out of my life. There are some people and places and times that I miss so much.

I have kind of always been looking elsewhere... When I was younger, I was waiting for summer and rendezvous or Advance. When I was older I was waiting for Michigan (during which I was waiting for Texas) and then I was in Austin dreaming of the future and now I am in New York dreaming of Austin. I guess this is my fate. To be lonely for those cool Austin nights of 2004, where I rode my bike around town alone, listening to music and reading good books in the patios of closed restaurants, in the stillness of the town. Someday I suppose I will be lonely for Brooklyn, and the airplanes flying overhead at night, and the sound of rain on the roof.

The tide comes in, and the tide goes out again. I suppose this is the kind of thing we see every day.

The tide goes in; the tide goes away. Oh, the tide comes in, yeah the tide, yes the tide...