when i look for proof, i find it in you..

well.

some storms have passed and some have only intensified. 

s and i have had a weeks' worth of very serious conversations. things aren't getting better or worse; simply unfolding. we had a moment today where we looked at each other and i was actually afraid for a second he might cry, or that i might cry. it sucks to be so worried about a job. h put it best, I guess, simply: "this is what happens in a depression. people get depressed."

since it has been just the two of us, things have been 100 times better between us, 1000 times better than imagined. we make a good team; whatever strange energy exists between us translates well to the store. a regular said today, while observing us work: "you guys are really cute today." and it feels good, almost like dancing.

the weather has been warm (is it sad I'm referring to 30 and 40 degree days as warm?) and it has been making me so happy. i'm still so in love with this city, and despite everything there are moments every day where i catch myself and think, "wow, I live here."

there are a lot of other things going on. i guess. i sit on the train, listening to modest mouse and feeling something almost crushing inside of me. something unnamed, unknown. this feeling makes me think that someday i will produce something very beautiful, but very sad.